The One With All the Chaos

So ... I have been working insanely a lot and trying to keep up with homework and, well ... housework and chores have suffered. And you know it's getting bad, because all my internet-related surfing and posting has been next to nothing as well.

This morning may have been the breaking point. I may have to take a vacation or something. Please do not laugh (too hard) at my morning of chaos:

After hitting snooze like 85 times, I finally roll out of bed and practically drag LB out of bed. I throw him in front of cartoons in the living room with his only pair of clean shorts and a T-shirt to put on ... I go get in the shower, and in order to get dressed I must go to the closet, the dresser, the couch, the dryer, and the bathroom in order to gather all articles of clothing in their various states of laundry-not-put-awayedness. I did take a moment to thank the laundry gods that at least I had a clean item of every piece of clothing that I needed to wear today. They may not be the most fashionable, matching clothes, but they were all clean (Black shirt with brown pants? WHATEVER!! They are clean!)

However, the shopping gods were not so forgiving. They forgot to send the shopping angels down from above and make things from my shopping list magically appear in my home. Coffee? Nope. All out. Food to take for lunch? Unless you count one lonely piece of string cheese and a beer as lunch ... Nope. And worst of all ... Toothpaste? Nope. We have been Squeeeeeeezing the last of the toothpaste out of the tube for the last week. And the shopping angels did not drop off a nice, full tube into my bathroom last night. Damn them! I did a quick rinse with some mouthwash (also on its last drops) and brushed my teeth when I got to work (I do, ironically, have a full tube of toothpaste at work).

So, coffee-less and with morning breath, we started for the door. When I finally convinced LB that he could not take every toy he owned to daycare with him (a daily discussion we must have before leaving), we opened the front door. As we opened the door, there stood the Technician, just getting home from the night shift. He was reaching for the door to come in when we opened it (almost hitting him) ... and (since we were running late and didn't realize the time) we weren't expecting him to be home, so seeing him right there when we opened the door scared us both. We jumped and screamed. And us almost hitting him with the door scared HIM ... so he jumped out of the way and kind of yelled too. Soooo ... after we all calmed down we said quick hellos and goodbyes, and LB and I headed off to work/daycare.

When we had been driving for about 20 minutes and were all the way across town, almost to LB's daycare, he says "Mom, tomorrow is water day and we are supposed to bring our swim trunks" Now ... in 4-year-old time this could actually mean "Today" or "Tomorrow" or "In two weeks" ... and since we were almost to daycare by this time, I hoped he really meant one of the latter, and continued on to daycare-- minus swim trunks or a towel. But of course, that is not what he meant. TODAY is "water day" and he needed a swim suit. For the love of GOD. After some quick calculating in my head, I realized it would be faster to run down the street to the store and buy some NEW swim trunks and towels than to go ALL THE WAY HOME (across town) and BACK AGAIN. (And I would also like to point out to those who may be counting, this is not the first time I have forgotten his swim trunks on water days, and had to make extra trips. And I DO have a calendar that tells me when those days are, but I forget to look at it. I suck.)

Now, this story gets even MORE ridiculous ... because since I have to go to the store and BUY something, I have to move money around between our checking accounts. THE ONLY CARD I have with me is for my individual checking account (which generally has no money in it), because I am a MORON and left my card for our JOINT account in the ATM like 3 weeks ago, and have yet to get it back. So, I call the Technician at home and make him get online and move money around, so that I can go to the store. Seriously people. I think I can hear music in the background and I am really expecting about 10 clowns to jump out of a VW bug at any moment because my life is beginning to feel like a three-ring circus.

After I rush through the store and buy swim trunks, a towel and TOOTHPASTE!!, I rush back to daycare, drop the stuff off, and rush off to work. However, when I get to work I realize that I do not have my ID badge to get in (I have no idea where it is, but I used it to get OUT last night, so it must be at home or buried in the car somewhere) and so I have to go the long way in through the building and talk to the (annoyingly friendly) security guy to get a temporary badge.

I finally arrived at my desk this morning about 2 hours late for work. Luckily, no one really cares what time I get here ...

Soooo ... I have a half-finished post from a week ago (about crochet!!) waiting to be finished, pictures added, and published. Soon, you might get to read about something other than the circus. And also?! Kristy says I am a Rockin’ Girl Blogger!! How cool is that?! Although I think that posts like this really show how NOT worthy I am of being called a “Rockin’ Girl” anything … Is there such thing as a “Barely Keeping Her Family Alive in the UTTER CHAOS Girl Blogger" Award? ‘Cause if so, that is the one I deserve.

But, before I get to all that stuff, I have to write a paper for class, answer 50 emails from people who think I come to work to be at their beck and call, clean up the DISASTER that is our home, and possibly go grocery shopping so that we don't all have to share one piece of string cheese and a beer tonight for dinner. Oh God ... I need a lot more coffee ...